Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Umm. . . eek. . .I'm terrible at keeping secrets, but I'm getting better

So everyday recently I wake up with this bubbling excitement mixed with a heaping dose of unsureness and a pinch of sadness - shaken, not stirred.  And I am TERRIBLE at keeping secrets, but oh, I've been good with this one.  It's not that I am trying to be mean to others initially.  I have just learned a lot about me lately (6 months of weekly counseling sessions will do that to you) and I have learned that you don't have to tell everyone EVERYTHING.  And as my sister says "Liz, don't poop on your own parade." I don't want to poop on my own parade and have discovered that it's more fun to bottle up this excitement and pure pride in myself than tell people and just be disappointed in their reactions or better yet, they try to one up me b/c their jealousy.  who knows.  I have also learned through therapy that I am a happier person "when I am not investing my energy in friends that don't give me back the same".  Again, counseling with the right counselor is FABULOUS.  It doesn't mean that you have failed, that you are damaged or whatever other negative you can think of.  It means that you realize that you need help - whatever help means to you.

I hope that I can post my secret soon - the waiting game sucks.  And if I don't post anything, don't ask as I will be in therapy. . .again.  Just kidding, maybe.

So are you intrigued yet?

I'm FINALLY learning how to keep secrets (at 32) . . .yep, I'm that girl.    

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